12 Days of Grieving
by Miss Mila
Summary: Follows Goren and Eames after the events of "Loyalty". The format is...different. Visits friends from a few seasons back. Read and review!


**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Law and Order: Criminal Intent characters, places, themes, etc. No copyright infringement intended.

**Author's Note:** So, I had some major writer's block, and then I wrote this, and I fell in love with it. Well, most of it.

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**Day 3**

"So, what now?"

Central Park seemed nicer every time they circled it - it was the 3rd day since they left the NYPD, and every morning they walked. Together. And it was her turn to ask. One of them _always _asked.

Goren shrugged, hands deep in the pockets of his suit pants.

It didn't change anything, her quitting, him being fired.

They still looked like cops. They walked like cops and talked like cops and wore cop clothes. They drank cop coffee and went to cop bars and kept latex gloves in their pockets.

Sometimes he saw her hand go to brush reassuringly against her gun, only to frown and stuff her hands in her pockets awkwardly.

He did the same thing sometimes.

"Damn, Bobby, what the hell are we going to do?" It was more a mumble than a direct comment.

He shrugged again and she sighed a sigh laced with frustration.

"Come on, let's go eat."

**Day 4**

Every morning she woke up at 5. Out of habit.

Some days, before she was _really _awake, she found herself showered and dressed and searching for her badge and gun.

That was one of those days.

Ring, ring, ring, click. _"Hello?" _He was awake.

"Bobby, you're awake," she said brilliantly.

"_You woke up again?" _

"Yeah."

"_Me too. Wanna go for a walk?" _

She smiled. "Be there in 5."

She felt oddly vulnerable without her gun or badge. He did too.

The trees in Central Park were starting to bloom.

**Day 5**

The waitress at _Margie's Coffee House _recognized them. She had their orders ready when they came in in the morning.

**Day 6**

Goren dodged another flying projectile Eames threw across the room. She was angry again, and throwing the pillows and plastic bottles within her reach.

"Alex. Alex!" He called, trying to get her to stop.

She turned towards him and he saw tears in her eyes. "I can't do this," she whispered.

He came and put an arm around her and she leaned against him like she did days before.

"I'm a cop, Bobby. I don't know how not to be one."

He didn't say anything. He didn't know either.

**Day 7**

"Are you sure we should do this?" She asked in a whisper (pointless- since they were in a car and alone) as she looked at the building across the street.

He wasn't sure of anything anymore. "We have nothing to lose."

A knock.

A chain being moved.

Surprise. "Goren. Eames."

"Logan," Eames greeted. Warmly, hesitantly.

"Uh, come in, I guess."

A voice in the background. "Logan, who is it?" It was a familiar voice. That of Caroline Barek. She popped up from behind Logan. A smile. "Bobby! Alex! How are you two? Anything wrong?" She shoved Logan out of the way and hugged them both.

Eames smiled sadly. "Everything is."

**Still Day 7**

Barek put down another two mugs of coffee before turning the basketball game on the living room TV off. Goren and Logan seemed disappointed.

"So what's wrong? Is everyone okay?"

No. No one was fine. Ross certainly wasn't. Eames retold their story. Tears still came to her eyes. Goren took her hand.

Logan looked upset after hearing the news. "Anyone told Megan yet? Kid looked up to him like a father."

Eames sighed, "I don't know. I - I haven't asked."

Barek was shaking her head. "Shame. A damn shame, that man's death. I knew him, in passing."

Logan rubbed a hand over his face. "He was a good man. A good captain."

**Day 8**

Ross' funeral. They still wore their blue uniforms. They were still cops. No one said anything.

She'd never seen his two boys look so sad.

_He'd _never seen _her _look so heartbroken.

**Day 9**

She wouldn't leave her room, her apartment. So, he came over, and used his key and walked in. They spent the day laying in her bed, staring at the ceiling and remembering. She took his hand.

**Day 10**

He felt like he suddenly had no purpose in life. No reason to get up in the morning. No reason to live in New York, for that matter. No reason other than her.

She felt the same way.

**Day 11**

"Goren?"

"Yeah, Eames?"

"Thank you."

"Thank _you._"

**Day 12**

They walked into his apartment, arms loaded with paper bags full of groceries. Eames threw her keys on the counter and started unloading the fruits and vegetables, stopping to hit the blinking red light on the answering machine.

**Still Day 12**

He walked inside his apartment, juggling grocery bags in his arms. He closed the door behind him and looked to see a frowning Eames next to the phone.

"Eames?" (It was always Eames. Mostly.)

"They…they want us."

"Who?"

"The FBI."

Bile rose to his throat. "No."

She shook her head. "Profilers. They want us to be profilers."

Goren shook his head. "Eames. Ross is dead."

"Yeah. Ross _is _dead. But think. If we're in charge, someone else's Ross won't be dead."

He shook his head again.

"Bobby, it's always been like this. We want change, _we _make it happen. No one else."

"Together?"

"Together."

**Day 54**

The FBI let them have their own team. Logan and Barek were happy to join. So was Deakins.

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**Author's Note:** I'm sorry I didn't post this earlier. It took me a while to get the end right. I owe a lot of it to a friend from Twitter, benjigirl59. Thanks a bunch, hon! (Follow me, and benjigirl59 on Twitter…the link to mine is on my profile page). Reviews are appreciated.


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